The Difference between FAT and THICK
So I stumbled across this article on American Sexuality Magazine online entitled, “Can a Big Girl Get Some Love? African Americans’ shrinking views of sexiness” By Robin McGee. (Click on the link to read article in full)
Although she makes a lot of valid points, I disagree with the theory that a voluptuous woman is out of style. That will never happen. I think that the difference in location may be one reason why what I see on an everyday basis is different from what McGee’s findings are.
McGee states, “Young African American men, products of the middle class, are inclined to adopt more mainstream American values, including a preference for a thinner woman. A January 2004 study published in the Journal of Black Studies reported that African American men between the ages of eighteen and thirty-five found smaller women more attractive than women with larger body types in the majority of the cases.”
I’m in Cleveland, Ohio and she is in California. I am pretty sure these findings were researched in LA somewhere. Besides the difference in location, I think people in general have a very tainted perception of what black men like. People are also ignorant to the fact that there is no thin line between skinny and FAT. The line is actually quite broad and there are so many categories in between. Most people fail to realize that there is a BIG differance between a woman who is FAT and a woman who is (what my Cleveland men call us) THICK.
A Fat woman is sloppy, insecure, and unhealthy. A thick woman is voluptuous, neat, clean, and well proportioned. And did I mention, a 10 must have a good set of boobs, wide hips, firm thighs and a nice butt.
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY INTELLIGENCE, CONFIDENCE AND A POSITIVE (NOT BOUGIE, STUCK UP) ATTITUDE.
And in Cleveland, a thick woman is a HOT commodity.
McGee also goes on to say..”It’s true that some men prefer big women and choose them in the same way others favor blonds. Anecdotally speaking, a voluptuous woman could represent the ideal mother/lover image for some men. Ron, a fifty-three-year-old special education teacher, told me he never dates a woman “under a size 12” who has “food issues” and “does not like to eat.”
This is an excerpt from the article where one of the women interviewed also had a difference in opinion,
An executive booking manager for a Los Angeles-area speakers’ bureau, Juanita describes herself as large and lovely and “a player in the dating scene.” She does not see herself as anyone’s wife—ever. “There are lots of men who like me because I am a big woman,” Juanita says. “I have never had a problem with men not liking me because of my weight; my personality shines. And men always comment on my pretty eyes. Obviously they admire the essence of me. They also like my other body parts too.”
Another excerpt from a differant woman interviewed
Vanessa, a U.S. postal worker, watched her boyfriend grow so threatened by the idea that she was about to become a slimmer mate, he cursed her mere hours before she was scheduled to have a gastric bypass. “He told me, ‘I hope you die on the operating table,’” Vanessa recalls. She came through the surgery fine, dropped the excess weight, and lost the boyfriend too.
Another…
Stephanie, a single mom who underwent a gastric bypass operation three years ago and lost one hundred and fifty pounds, remembers that even as a fat girl, she enjoyed positive dating relationships, including one with a well-to-do African American real estate entrepreneur. “I have known Michael for years and he treats me like a queen,” Stephanie says. “He tells me all the time he liked my body better when I weighed one hundred and fifty pounds more. He thinks I am too small now.”
Although these women have the same perception I do on what men like. All men do not feel this way. A lot of Big women, Fat or Thick, are so insecure with themselves that it gets to the point where men do not want to be bothered with them. They don’t want to hear you constantly bitch and complain about how you need to loose weight and then watch you go swallow a twinkie whole. Most Men like women who are confident and willing to do something to make a change in their lives. Other men seek out the insecure FAT chick and feed on their low self-esteem. We call these men CHUBBYCHASERS…
According to Stephanie, however there is a world of difference between a man who loves and appreciates big women and so-called “chubby chasers.”
The latter are men with a fetish, obsessed with fatty flesh. Elizabeth, the graphic designer, calls such men “vultures who find and exploit [a woman] they think may have low self-esteem because of her size. Chubby chasers really don’t like themselves and come to us figuring we must also feel bad about ourselves too. They think we’ll be a perfect match.”
Eventually, these chubby chasers leave a big girl even more torn and insecure to the point where it is now an anger. Her insecurity turns into hatred for society and men in general. Now she is a victim and wants to blame everyone else for why she is not happy.
The media portrays us as angry women who hate skinny girls. Especially in the black community, we are portrayed as sloppy, angry women on welfare mad at every skinny white chic we see. Ignorance has led society to believe that we actually give a two shits about white skinny girls who date black men.
“…I was giving a lecture, entitled “From Auction Block to Idiot Box,” on the image of African Americans in popular culture. I began by asking the audience at California State University, Fullerton, to tell me the first thing that comes to mind when they think of the black woman.
Overwhelmingly, the response was “someone who is strong.” When I asked them to come up with another adjective, most in the room exchanged puzzled looks, but one young man in the back had his answer ready.
“Black women are fat and angry,” he hollered. The room was stunned. “They’re mad because black men are dating white women,” he continued. “African American women are so fat, no one wants to date them.” “
Now I might have popped off on him. But anyways, it is sad that society has left white men ignorant to how we really feel. And this is what we are usually angry about. I also believe that white men are intimidated by black women. We have a strong and independent presence, something that they may not be used to. They are more comfortable with women who are docile and submissive.
But when it comes to a thick woman of any race, some men get even more intimidated, scared, and insecure. And if you are a women with a lot behind her, you know what I am talking about…(i.e. a man has to have enough for Doggy-style, not every big girl wants to stay in missionary all her life) and men know this so there insecurities get the best of them. Black,White, Asian , whatever…
Then on the flip-side, we have the guys who are in the closet…NO, there not gay. THEY SECRETLY OBSESS OVER THICK CHICS BUT ARE SCARED TO SAY SO or do so.
Stephanie remembers encountering lots of men during her super-sized days who were “closet chubby chasers”—guys who wanted to be seen in public with a slender girl, but, when they got home, they wanted to “do it” with an obese or overweight woman.
MOST OF THESE MEN ARE WHITE. In the black community, it is a well known fact that a thick chic is in. Every men wants a thick chic, and the ones that do not are looked down upon as being scared or “not being able to handle it”. Men say things like, “little boys like skinny chics” or (referring to a thick chic) ” She need a REAL man to handle all of that”
Even the XXX-rated Internet scene has followed suit and a lot of sites are dedicated to “Doing it BIG” and I bet you a good proportion of these men are white. They go to the internet to live out there fantasy of being with a BIG woman. These websites are just as provocative as a skinny girls site and showing just as much skin….or should I say MORE skin.
Such images prove irresistible to men all over the world, insists Lee Mack owner of a porno website featuring fat women. According to Mack, “my website has been so lucrative, I am planning to take my full-figured models on the road, on a so-called ‘Big Girls Gone Wild’ tour.”
Now the thing that I most disagree with in this article is stated here:
“Today, women are willing to go to extremes to find a quick fix as a way of getting that male attention,” Crawford says. “Black women want to be perceived as so-called ‘cute and small.’ Society says that ‘petite’ is what is beautiful. We as black people have always embraced fuller figures. But nowadays, the media images are working on us in the sense that more and more black women desire to be thin.”
Man, she must really stay in the center of all the Hollywood antics. More and More woman these days are going through drastic measures to become more voluptuos. Especially WHITE women. They are getting their lips pumped full of collagen, getting bigger boobs, a Brazilian Butt lift, Butt implants and so on. This is the real truth. Look at all the sex symbols of the moment. Kim Kardashian, J-lo, Beyonce, Pink, Christina Aguilera, Tyra Banks, The Girls of Danity Kane (exception of a couple), Alicia keys…They have weight on them. They are not skinny. The skinny ones are being talked about , teased and taunted, being called anorexic, or being labeled as crack or heroin users. Why? because they are just TOO SKINNY. So it makes no sense at all to say black women are dying to be thin because thin is not in.
Be looking out for more on this topic…later. I’m not quite finished with this one.
theultimateappeal